I'm very happy today... learnt quite a few lessons.... firstly, went to the life meeting for preparation of the club crawl... today Christine spoke about trusting God in all things... From 2 Chronicles on Jehosophat, king of Judah. How he rely on God when he was surronded by armies from 3 other nations and how he has led the whole nation into prayer and fasting.... I was deeply affected by the short message... indeed, many a times, i always tend to solve thing with my own style when problems come to me... and many a times, i make a whole mess out of my self... I really hope that i could be like the king... humble and constantly seeking God even in the times of trouble and crisis...

Another lesson that i learnt is during my Church Judah Cell Group... Today we have our lovely clearing house... say a few things about responsibilities, punctualities... and most of all ... ms Joyann talk about how to be thankful when we faced a lot of trouble or stress or unhappiness... I like what she say, " A Thankful Heart is a Happy Heart". It really some how speak to me... I was like thinking , "Have I been showing thankfulness to the people or things happening around me??" I doubt so..

I feel that I'm no longer the man I used to be.. In the past, I used to be the man who really is patient to my friends and always there to care and listen to them... However, now I become the nasty person who always go around criticising people , making fun of people, hurting their feelings... I really feel remorseful on what I have done to my friends... I Really wanna become the man that I used to be... The same, old Shi Qin.. Who is kind and gentle.... I think that like what my best friend, Jonathan says, " May be thats your First Love with God??" How I wish that I could have that feeling back once again..

I feel really sad... very very sad... I wanna change.. deep inside me... my heart is crying... I dunno what or How I should go about doing it....I think right now... Only God Knows....
Caleb at 10:35 PM